Thursday, March 11, 2010


11 March 2010
Ok so for real it’s only been thirty eight days. That’s not a very long time when you look at it. It has felt like a lifetime to me though. I’ve grown a little and learned a few things. I have a lot more growing and learning to do though. I’ve learned I don’t need her anymore, and that is a big deal for me. I’m thankful for the memories but I’m not going to dwell on the way things worked out. I truly believe I can and will do better. That feeling is so exciting.
I am learning that the things I wanted before are not as important to me as I thought they were. I don’t need kids. I’m almost thirty. I’m not going to stop it if the opportunity comes up, but I’m not going to fight to make it happen anymore. I don’t want to make decisions based on weather or not I want kids. I almost made a big mistake letting my want of children control my decision making. If it is meant to happen it really will. I believe that. But the desire to have children is no longer going to run my life. I love learning who I am. I think I learn something new about myself every day and it is exciting.
As for the rest of the Vow things are going great. I love talking and meeting new people and not wondering if I'm going to sleep with them. That’s such a free feeling. I like meeting new people and talking to them about things instead of making it my new mission to get them in bed with me. Now the food part; Well Gluten free is a tuff diet, I have definitely experienced my weaknesses. I have broken down and given in. I’ve felt bad for it, but I’m still working on it. I’m not starving anymore and that’s good. Everything else is great as well. I give strangers compliments pretty much every day. I don’t swear as much, and I much more happy than I was only two months ago. I’m living and enjoying living.

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