You

07 March 2010
Oh how I wish I could get lost in her eyes. Their beauty simmers my restless soul. I long for one of her warm and tender hugs that ease all the aches in my body. I want to get lost in her sent and walk in dreams to the sound of her angelic whisper. Oh how I miss her smile and daydream about her laugh.
Oh ok well hmmm. It’s been a wile since I have written anything. Life has been way crazy. Today was a great day, or at least a great evening. She, she makes me smile in ways I never knew I could. Things were awesome! That was until I got that call. The boys... It sucks but I think I was probably the last to find out. I guess that’s the deal now. Soon I won’t even get a courtesy call any more if something happens. Is sucks and it stings pretty freaking bad but I guess that’s what breakups are all about. You don’t just breakup with your girl friend you break up with the whole family. Man I’m so over dating chicks with kids. That crap hurts too damn bad even after the fact. It hurts even more so when you’re the last one to know when something really big happens.
I was losing weight but I think I balanced out. I lost all I'm going to lose by changing my diet. Now I need to get out there and work my ass off… Literally ha ha!! Oh ice baths and tiger balm here I come ready or not.
So the doctor said I need to relieve the frustration and things pent up in my head in order to sleep and to get rid of my headaches. I’m sure I know what she was implying. Ok it was plain obvious. I think it’s kind of funny really. I should have expected something along those lines from her. I mean this is the woman who said my tattoo was wicked and laughed and said my happy trail was cute. This inspired me to shave it for the first time. Yes this is the doctor at the VA. I can only imagine what she says to her other patients. So I need to do a lot of searching right now. What do I really need to do for myself? What am I getting out of this whole thing? DO I really need to go without? Or was that just my stepping stone to bigger and better missions within my life.
So in efforts of picking myself up and dusting myself off, I have decided that I need not try to think about the past. It’s all about the future for me now. I’m so over the past. It hurts too damn much. Tomorrow is a new day with a new smile on the face of the sun.